Marie's Mind – Walk in the Park
by HoD Ro' Matlh & Soghla' Marie St. Helene

Previous EntryNext Entry
Post Details

Title   Walk in the Park
Mission   Marie's Mind
Author(s)   HoD Ro' Matlh & Soghla' Marie St. Helene
Posted   Tue Dec 24, 2013 @ 12:14am
Location   Moonshadow Institute, Federation Psychiatric Facility
Timeline   After Marie's Promotion
"They tell me you had a relapse yesterday," Tem asked conversationally.

“To hear you tell it, I have a relapse most days.”

The grounds around them stretched out green and lush in every direction. They were sculpted into calming curves and subtle yet beautiful garden beds. Marie was sure there was some scientific rationale to every line that was designed not to alarm anyone. For some reason it made her want to break something.

“If you mean my promotion, then, yes, I had a relapse. If you mean that I’ve been put in charge of the Marines aboard the FHew then, yes, I had a relapse. Why don’t you ask me why a mere quartermaster was put in charge of Marines? Surely I must be delusional to believe such a notion?”

Tem listened quietly as Marie ranted, nodding occasionally as the opportunity presented itself. At the end he said, "What I am hearing is that the figure who is identified as the 'controller' is recognizing your own will is in a position to make more decisions for itself. That is a very good sign, Marie. It suggests your own mind may be ready to start the process of letting go to the trauma that has held you. How are you feeling?"

Like I could hit you, she thought. Like I could take all these neat lines and rip them to shreds.

“I do feel like my value is finally being recognised.”

Dr Par nodded amiably. It was not widely understood how strong Vulcan Telepathy really was, and he could easily read the thoughts under the surface of Marie. What he said was, "That is to be expected. Shall we talk about some more of your crew?"

If we must.

"Previously you have mentioned two people as first officer, as if those roles were interchangeable. Each of these characters provides a wealth of insight into you as a person."

"Take this Tell, for example. Another Human on a Klingon ship. One who is at the same time damaged and fragile, and yet strong and independent. She is someone you want to protect and is often in a position of protecting you. She is a mother, sister, lover figure all in one. Something of a Freudian Super Ego, I suspect?"

“My what?”

Tem explained, "She is your superior; cares and maintains the 'Ship', which is in essence your psyche. She is your closest friend and the most like you, but there is a distance there as well, just as there was in your maternal relationship. You struggle to imagine a close relationship of any kind there and so your overtures to her are thwarted continually."

That at least made some weird sort of sense. Usually Marie could fend off the implications of Tem’s pronouncements or hide behind bluster and banter. For once, he’d struck a raw nerve.

Tem could see Marie was becoming distressed, "Let's change topic. You have also mentioned HIchop, though in your initial conversations he was ship's medic and interrogation officer. Now he is sometimes First Officer. He seems to represent an implacable, violent brick wall. He is most like your Id, and your own psychological defense. You are aware that when threatened you have a tendency to violence? I inherited the case from Dr Marsh whose arm you broke."

“Did I?” Marie asked rhetorically. “Score one for Marie.”

"What I see most clearly is that these three, HIchop, Ro' and Tell, your Id, Ego, and Super Ego are so clearly defined. When things get hard for you to cope with Ro' assigns HIchop to take over from Tell as First Officer and protector. The two swap roles depending on how you are feeling on a particular day."

“I would have thought the two swap roles depending on how ‘Ro feels on a particular day,” Marie countered. “It is his ship, after all.”

"You still don't see it? Then let me ask you to consider HIchop's flat cranium. This condition has been all but eradicated from the Klingon culture for nearly two centuries. It is more than coincidence that he has a very human appearance."

"But enough for now, we are back at the facility and it is meal time. You will be hungry. We will talk more after you have eaten if you feel ready for it."

Which is as good an excuse as any to be rid of you and your stupid psychobabble, Marie thought. “I do feel hungry,” she said. “And tired,” she added for good measure.

The queue for food was always long. Not because the food was good, or the service shoddy, but because half of the patients could only manage to move in a drug hazed shuffle. Marie stood behind a rather overweight and sweaty man whose name she couldn't quite remember. He smelled of stale urine and Marie hung back to avoid being too close to him.

Suddenly she heard Tell's voice clear as a bell, "Wake up!"

Marie froze, startled by the recognized voice. She turned, searching this way and that but there was no sign of Tell anywhere, just the woman behind her looking at her intently.

"Wake up, the line's moving," the woman said again. Marie turned to see the sweaty man had shuffled forward leaving a space.

Maybe Tem’s right. Maybe I am going mad.